We’ve all come across good and bad individuals in our business and personal lives. How can we tell them apart? I personally use the concept of ‘intention’ as the biggest indicator of a good or bad person. The reason I use this is because a ‘bad’ person often pretends to be good in order to set up their victim. Then once they are properly positioned will strike out in their deed. Others are upfront bad and admit it.Â
So what is a bad person? I see a bad person as someone who doesn’t care about the community they live in or other indivduals, who focused on themselves at the expense of others and/or who will knowingly hurt other individuals. You can always tell a bad person when either they don’t get what they want or they are in a confrontation. They will always personally attack the other person rather than address the issue at hand. For example, in personal life when someone dumps their partner and the partner turns around and says something like “you will never be in a good relationship because you wear red socks” then that is a symptom of being a bad person. I use the red socks here to drive home the point, it could be because you snore or are overweight or whatever. The point is that the person being dumped rather than deal with their rejection try to hurt the other person for no other reason than they don’t feel good about themselves. They derive comfort by putting others down.
I use this example because many people can relate to it. But, the same thing often happens in business with individuals that are poorly qualified or capable of an opportunity. When they are ‘dumped’ from the relationship they are angry and try to attack their partners. Not everyone is like this. In fact, it is the successful people who question why they were not successful in that relationship and change themselves so that they are successful the next time. It can be that they need to develop some skills, like learning to speak proper English or perhaps they don’t know how to treat others with respect. Or maybe they just don’t understand basic business concepts.Â
In some cases these ‘bad’ individuals may actually have a psychological problem. A generally accepted definition for ‘psychopath’ is “A person with an antisocial personality disorder, manifested in aggressive, perverted, criminal, or amoral behavior without empathy or remorse.” The definition speaks for itself. Who do you know that is like that? Do you yourself fit that definition - hmmmmmmmmmm? Well if you do, don’t worry. You can always change. Sometimes people are like this because of past experiences, or difficult times. I’m a believer that if someone wants to enough, they can change almost anything.
Of course a psyhopath wouldn’t think there is anything wrong with her or him. That is why they always blame others for situations not going as they please. They hardly ever think they are wrong and rarely apologize for their behaviour.
So how do you deal with these individuals? Certainly it’s difficult to do, but the best way is simply not to engage with them. Just pretend they are four year old children and ignore what they say. You can’t take them seriously because they do not follow logic and will only here what they think will make them right and support their attack on you. So, let them say what they want, then just walk away. If they start to harass you or threaten you then you may have to get professional help and involve the authorities. Especially if they get vendictive or violent. Don’t lose your patience and think of them as psychologically sick individuals. You might even want to get them to see a psychologist if you can.
Just remember, it has very little to do with you. They are this way with everyone. So, don’t let it get to you or change the way you do business. Stick to your values and believes. Good luck!
